Thank you. Yeah, my husband’s mother died on October 31. He had a epiphany at that time. And that was to want to live a life of freedom, which didn’t include me. I was shocked and heartbroken. And luckily, I discovered you a couple days later. Thank God. And I have to say, I’ve been sleeping with you every night in my air all night long, and discovering unconditional love.
And I appreciate that. My love has been really conditional unconditional love is a is a well worn word, they are well worn words. But what they really mean is sometimes your environment can be pleasing to an extent that you feel satisfied within it. And then if the environment changes for some reason, and then you don’t feel satisfaction, it feels like if you could just bring those conditions back, then you would feel better. And people work really hard to try to keep the conditions just right, so that they can have good feeling response to those conditions.
But it is the reason that your world is a bit an upheaval from the beginning of time, and will always be for those who approach it that way. Because you don’t have the power or the right, or the ability to control the conditions of others, you don’t get to choose what they want or what they don’t want. And so it’s like saying, when I look at that, I feel really good. So everyone needs to promote that. Alright, see that? It makes me happy everyone do it. And sometimes people say, No, I don’t want to promote that instead. But it makes me happy. And they say, Who cares.
And then you get all feeling unimportant and unappreciated. So I see this, and I like it, so I feel better. And then I see that and I don’t like it and I feel worse. So that needs to be more like that. So I can feel better. And you just spend so much time trying to control the uncontrollable. And so there is such freedom in finally accepting that you can’t control the conditions, but you can control what you focus upon. And you can control how you feel. And sometimes a complete reboot is a value. And don’t think that we’re talking about the reboot of starting over on your own. We don’t mean that at all.
We’re talking about this complete reboot that meditation will give you talk about getting into the receptive mode and letting a vibration that has no resistance in it gain momentum. In other words, oh, there’s such power and satisfaction in that. So let’s just take the subject of the specifics of what happened. And so what was it? If you had to describe with a word, what your husband was proclaiming for himself? What would it be, I want freedom, and I don’t want to be controlled by you?
Well, if he wants freedom, and he doesn’t want to be controlled by you, and he goes away from you, and He justifies the freedom he wants by pushing against the control that you had, he’s not ever going to find freedom, he’ll be in a different place, but he won’t find freedom, different faces different places, but you take your bondage everywhere you go, because you take your vibration everywhere you go. And we’re not giving this to you, for except for just a smidgen of satisfaction, just a smidgen of satisfaction. We don’t want it to make you happy that he’ll still be miserable.
That’s not the point of this. And we don’t want you to take any delight in the fact that he’s already discovered the error of his ways. That’s not what this conversation is about. But what it is about is about figuring out what unconditional love really is figuring out what getting ready to be ready is because you know, the two of you as you were living your life together, you were having contrast everyone does it’s natural, and putting things into your vortex decks both of you were and so what do you think is beneath his decision to leave his desire for freedom? So that’s about as basic as it gets in the vortex.
And you just heard us say that you were all born with this triad of intentions of freedom and growth and joy. And so freedom is at the basis of your desire to but do you know what you’re all wanting freedom from? It’s not a controlling spouse. It’s freedom from the bondage of discord that is always self inflicted. And so every negative emotion and it’s going to be a little hard for you to hear this right now because this is pretty new. But every negative emotion that you feel is Always an indication of some resistance between you and you.
And what it means is, not only has your husband wanted powerfully freedom, you have to. And you’ve both been experiencing a considerable amount of bondage almost everyone does, in believing that you have to please each other. The whole reason for our conversations through all of these years with all of you is, this is the most significant thing that we know that we want you to remember and come to know the satisfaction that you are looking for, no matter what the request, or desire is that is active within you, what you’re looking for is the absence of resistance between you.
And that larger part of you who is attracting on your behalf. We said that to you at the beginning, you might not have really heard it that you were source energy before you came and that source energy, part of you still exists, and still is attracting on your behalf. With the help of law of attraction. Freedom is what that part of you is always asking for. And so when you and this is an extension of that, focus on something and you consider yourself or proclaim yourself not free.
There’s a discord between what your inner being knows about you, and what law of attraction is responding to, and what you’re doing here and now. And that discord results in a tug of war, which is what you proclaim as your lack of freedom. But it’s not the lack of freedom that has you all wadded up is vibrational variance. So when someone who you’ve been co creating with makes a choice that of course affects you. It feels like there needs to be a reversal of that decision.
For a while Esther thought Jerry should come back into his body and get back into the bed and live there with her like he had been doing for 32 years. She just thought it was unreasonable of him to do something other than that, who are you to get to live your life the way you are choosing. You are a condition that was pleasing to Me and you should return to that pleasing place. But then what Esther began to discover is, and it was easier for her because she really logically knew he wasn’t coming back that way. So she had to accept that condition as something that was going to continue to remain.
And so she reached this place, and fairly soon where she discovered that she didn’t have a choice of the conditions reverting to what they were before. So she had to give that up. But she did have a choice about whether she was going to feel good in this moment or bad, which meant she did have a choice about what she thought about. And so what happens when something happens to that sort of up ends you in a very powerful way is that you lose that connection that feels so good.
But it causes you to launch rockets of desire to return to that. And so then you discover that the happiness that you were giving the credit to, for a relationship or for some condition or circumstance. That’s not where it was ever coming from. It was the alignment with your inner being that was always the reason for your happiness. Do you understand how much freedom that gives you when finally once and for all, you’re not giving anybody on the planet credit or blame for the way you feel?
And you’re able to understand that it is singularly your relationship with your own guidance system. And isn’t it ironic in a way because you do it to each other? Whether you are the one who is standing on your head to please someone so they’ll feel better? Or whether you are the one who is demanding somebody stand on their head to please you. In any case, isn’t it a little ironic that in all of that, well being and and all of that service and and all of that trying to be the nicest person that you could ever be to somebody else that you’re actually teaching them not to understand their own guidance system.
Please me, nevermind how you feel about it. Nevermind your own guidance system, nevermind your own satisfaction. As long as you’re pleasing me, then you should be pleased that I’m pleased. That’s kind of the way you teach to each other. As long as I’m happy, then you’re good. And you say don’t be selfish. And what you mean is do what I need you to do. Serve my selfishness not your own. But just say you’ve got to serve your own selfishness, which means you’ve got to harmonize with your own inner being. And so in his quest for freedom, you’re going to discover yours for the first time ever.
I think I’m starting to I’m listening to you so much. Let’s walk through this just a little bit because this can be helpful. Be good for everyone to hear this. So just start in a sort of raw feeling place and use just a few words to describe the injustice that was done to you or the fee. lead of injustice that was done to you just speak it briefly. Now we know we’ve sort of taken you from that. So it might be difficult for you to reactivate it but not so hard. You’re right there already the injustice, the injustice just that he made that decision, although he’s come away from it, and he’s coming back closer now starting to work his way back towards me.
But just the well don’t mess up our story by finding the solution so fast. You felt betrayed, betrayed, betrayed and abandoned, betrayed and abandoned so when you feel betrayed. Let’s start with the abandoned when you feel abandoned, what’s on the other end of that if I’m abandoned, abandoned feels like lonely. It feels like frayed, worthless. It feels like misunderstood. It feels like not respected. Boy, there’s a lot wadded up in this isn’t there. So what’s on the other end of that?
What desire does the feeling of abandonment, what’s on the other end of that stick to feel aligned with source. But you see what’s really interesting is because the way you were going with that abandonment feels like betrayal, it feels like not being loved. But really abandonment on the other end of that is well being Are you following a little bit what we’re getting at if you can get right to the raw, negative feeling. And you can isolate the wanted feeling the raw wanted feeling on the other end of it. And you don’t get it all cluttered by acknowledging Well, I was abandoned, and now I feel worthless. And now I feel betrayed. Because now you’re just over here in this mess, and you can’t get any clarity.
But when you think about being abandoned, and what you really want is the security of knowing where you belong. And isn’t that what alignment with your Source Energy always gives you. And in a way, we love you so much. But here, this doesn’t every relationship somewhat in the way you think a healthy relationship should play out. Don’t almost all of them lead you to that abandonment, because don’t all of them lead you away from the only source of true wellbeing.
Almost every relationship you’re practicing caring more about what he thinks than about how you feel about who you really are. Most people care more about what somebody in their life thinks about them or does toward them than you do about your own connection to Source energy and all of the things that you can here to live and accomplish and be and all of the things you’ve sifted and sorted and added to it since this vortex is who you are, this vortex is home for you, and nothing else will do. And there aren’t enough people in the world or any one person who could love you enough to compensate for that. That’s conditional love that will never get to where you want to be.
If you’re looking for love in all the wrong places, like almost everyone is, isn’t this a nice conversation to have. If you really want to do this for yourself, anything that’s bothering you, identify this bothers me, because I’ve got this. And what I really want is this, and take time to make sure that what you’re identifying is what you really want and then acknowledge, through my connection with my inner being I do have that. And so I was not rendered in stable by this, I was given the potential for the greatest stability I’ve ever had. I was not rendered not valuable through this, I was given the opportunity to find my truest value that I’ve ever found, you say.
And once you find that, and once, that’s what you are radiating, not defensively in a reflex way reacting or responding to whatever he did or didn’t do. But now you’ve found your center. And that’s what you’re emanating, that’s who you are, you’re more stable than you’ve ever been. There’s nothing that will run someone off faster than your insecurity. And that’s what happens in so many relationships. One feels really insecure, which makes the other one feel bondage.
That’s just sort of the way things are being banged out here in this manifested edge. Somebody that is wanting freedom, you both really want freedom. It’s not one or the other of you. But in the physical form. So often you think that what you’re looking for is stability that’s provided for another rather than the stability that’s provided when you’re in alignment with all the resources from which you have come. Every insecurity, every negative emotion, even though it seems like it was exacerbated by that person was really, you just pinching off your true resources of who you are.
And sometimes these lovely people help you to realize exactly how you’re pinching yourself off from what you want. So you might say to your partner going, coming, going coming you might say about him, maybe not to him yet but about him. Your quest For freedom, and your willingness to find your own satisfaction, unconditionally triggered in me an alignment to something that I’d forgotten, I also have to have. And in the process of feeling abandoned, I’ve come home to my true stability. And now I’ll be nicer to live with if you want to come back.
Lord everything that’s bothering you is about that you say, all those people that have in such talented ways learned how to get your goat, have just been giving you an opportunity to come into vibrational alignment with your True resources. And so, while Esther missed Jerry so much, and still does every now and again, she knows that his departure caused a reorientation of her focus on what really matters. And as she found that satisfaction, she’s holier than she ever was, when there were two of them, and understanding everything that they lived in a more profound way to, you will never really have security when you need to hold someone else’s hand everywhere you go.
They’re different things, they are two entirely different things. So all of you run away and be hermits. So this conversation, while it took a lot of different twists and turns, what we want to leave you with what it is really about is that common ground in other words, because at first it felt like he wanted to go and you didn’t want him to go. But what it was really about is that he must have freedom and you must have freedom. And it took that experience for you to be on the same exact page with him.
That’s harmony. That’s the basis of a really good relationship. That feels really good. And it feels really right. And it feels, you know, through listening to every night and I do listen to you all night all day. He’s living in the house with me and he’s going about he was really negative for a while and I had you in one year I’m like, Yeah, but I was getting all this really incredible vibrations from you.
And I was shifting and as I’ve been shifting, it’s been given him space and, you know, I slowly feel him coming back, but from his own choice rather than to satisfy me. Well, we really think it’s nice that you’re listening to us day and night to get some sleep. This is a really good time for a segment of refreshment.