So I have two wonderful teenagers at home. They are now by themselves. No one ever says I have to have the rottenness teenagers. And I would like to like my parenting changed since I started listening to you. Your parenting has changed. Yes. Like I don’t control that decided to turn it over to their inner being where it’s always belong. Yes, ma’am, and I will. I do have one question how so my kids know how to follow their bliss. Yeah. And, and they are wonderful.
And they can do their stuff that excites them, like all day long. And they know what you disagree with their hell yes. No, no, I love when they are in their vortex is. My question is, what do I say to my son who’s 15. And he tells me that house chores are never in his vortex. And I feel like I don’t pay attention to their rooms anymore. And they do get inspired without me nagging nagging about the rooms to clean the rooms, like about every three to four months, we would say to him?
Well, now I know what you don’t want. But on that subject, I would like to know what you do want. Do you like free flowing? Do you like clarity? Do you like efficiency? You know, that he wants freedom, freedom from having to do something that he doesn’t want to do? But the thing is, whenever you know what you don’t want, there is something proportionate that you do want. And so what do you think he might say? Well, it’s usually about like, I feel like they should maybe not like contribute to the, to the well being of the house. If he wouldn’t ask you what you want him to want.
Yeah, he wants to have fun. And when he cleans, he is doing it for like three hours and having fun, like throwing glasses in the air. And it’s fun for him. But it’s just last super long. And it’s treacherous. Like, it’s just I feel like the wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, now you’re really on an observational kick here. And you’re really practicing a vibration, that’s not going to get you to where you want to be. And so really doesn’t matter what’s going on with him, we’re talking with you.
And you want something you would like cooperation and some respect and some mutual appreciation of home from your children and you’re observing the opposite of it. But you’re talking about what you’re getting rather than about what you want. And so you can’t get there from there, you cannot elicit from someone the opposite of what you want. By focusing on the opposite of what you want, you can’t get where you want to be by focusing on it.
Everything that we’ve been talking about, and all these hours that we’ve been together is about utilizing the leverage of the energy that creates worlds. And so that’s where all your power of influence is, you’re wanting to influence his behavior so that you will feel better. Well, that’s wrongheaded right there. And he innately knows that there’s a part of him that knows that while you think that you were born, in some sense to feather their nest, most parents do.
The children know for sure that they didn’t come to feather your nest, they just seem to know that and they’re so eager to get out there where the more important things are. But he doesn’t want disharmony. He wants harmony, and he doesn’t want to displease you, he wants your happiness, but he does not want your happiness to have to come through the conditions of him behaving in a certain way. He’s more in sync with who he really is, then you are on this subject to say. So what choices do you have you were talking about this? Without this example? Just a little bit of go in your question.
So what choices do you have? You have the choice of him not helping with the chores and feeling bad about it? Or you have the choice of him not helping with the chores and you feeling good about him not helping with the chores now there are a lot of people living in this audience who say, Oh, Surely there must be another choice like make him do his share. But the thing is, can you make him do his share while you stay in the vortex? That’s a big question.
Can you stay in vibrational alignment with who you are? I’m always out so quickly. So I probably can but I’m never in my vortex when we’re on that topic. You know what you don’t want speak it relative to this as succinctly as you can. I don’t like it when he doesn’t help when he doesn’t have say other words when he doesn’t do his share. Would you say that? Yes.
When he doesn’t contribute to when he doesn’t contribute to the cleanness of the house that we all live in? I don’t like it when he doesn’t contribute What is it that you do want Stay on the subject? I like it when, when? When he contributes, when he comes without talk to us? Does he contribute to this family? Yes. If you’re light hearted, energetic beings, yeah. Is that a contribution?
Yes. In what ways does he contribute? Does he enthusiastically eat the food that you provide? Most of the time? Do you get any satisfaction from that at all? Yes. So as contributing there is a thoughtful does he like to think yes, does he jump in and play easily, very easily. So he is a really solid contributor. He’s making his contributions in ways maybe that are a little different. But as you focus upon what you want, as you look for the positive aspects, and you activate more of that within you, that’s where your power of influence comes from.
And just like Esther not being able to find something that she thought was lost, you’re not going to be able to elicit any improvement improved by your standards behavior from him, while you’re focused upon what isn’t happening. But when you focus upon what you do want, then timing and opportunity will show itself and it is our knowing that you will stumble upon or be guided to experiences of his contribution that you didn’t even know he was making.
That right now you’re missing all the time. Because when you’ve made up your mind about someone, you don’t see who they really are, when you make up your mind in opposition, you don’t see who they really are. So now is this conversation, to help you get him to modify conditions, so that you can have a better feeling response to conditions. Not at all that hasn’t worked in how many years 15 This conversation is about you choosing to feel good anyway.
Therefore choosing alignment with source anyway, there for choosing opportunities to co create in ways that are more pleasing, you will inspire him through your alignment, teach through the clarity of your example. We have another question for you. This is a sort of hard hitting question. Would you prefer? Would you prefer a son who turns into his inner being often and is light hearted and lovely to be with?
Or someone who keeps an immaculate bedroom? Somewhere? And there are some who would say, can I have all of that? And we say yes, but not all at once. You have to get ready to get ready to get ready to get ready to get ready. And when he leaves the house, his bedroom will be cleaner.
And you will say oh now I’ve got what I always dreamed about. And I’m missing the best part of this messy person. And watch how it changes. But when your intention is to change the condition, then you’re out of whack. When your intention is to come into alignment, then you’re inspired and then the change has come naturally. It’s tricky, isn’t it?